I still remembered the day that I went for my first appointment to the oncologist at Hospital ‘H’. It was the same day that I had my first appointment with Dr Mona Tan at MammoCare.

It was on 21st September 2017, a Thursday. It’s the day that God given me to start the treatment journey to fight the cancer. Its a day of hope he has given me after all the doom and gloom news I got from Hospital ‘H’.

Meeting with the oncologist at Hospital ‘H’ was the same as my visits with the breast nurse and breast doctor there. The moment I entered the room of the oncologist, she asked me to be seated down then she turned her back at me and started typing into her system. (Okay, this was the first time in my life, I went to the doctor and instead of looking at me to treat me, her back was facing me 3/4 of the session.) She asked me questions on what was the diagnoses by the breast doctor and that the treatment will be 6 months and blah blah blah. At this time, I blocked off what she said, it was the exact same thing that the breast doctor told me. She said” So you are going to do mastectomy right.” (It was a statement not a question.) Then she continued typing and I continued to answer her questions while she typed away. She turned around a few times when she needed to confirm some answers (Let me count, I think maybe 5. #Iamsuchaluckygal #notreally)
After that, she asked me to lie down and she took this device to measure my lump then she said its about 5cm. (Okay i know this, I have been told tons of times by the breast doctor and a couple of times by the breast care nurse.) After which, the next question by this oncologist was “do you mind if we experiment on your cancer cells? It will not help you but it will help those who are in similar situation as you. All we need to do is collect extra 5mls of blood from you.” #rolleyesmoment
Hello!!! First of all, I don’t mind BUT do you have a better way to say it. You are telling me that the experiment is useless to you because you are the GUINEA PIG! Gee, thanks!! #itssarcasm
Secondly, it’s my blood you are drawing not yours. So 5ml or 10 ml is alot to me, okay! So put it in a nicer manner if you are asking people for permission. #itscallcourtesy #myparentsandsingaporecourtesycampaigntaughtmethat
I went out and the person from the lab came down and spoke to me about the procedures and all. I signed because I wanted to help others plus I was also too depressed to think clearly.

After which, my aunt and I left for my appointment with Dr Mona Tan at Mount Elizabeth Hospital Novena. (Her clinic is on the 6th floor (#06-11) of Mount Elizabeth Hospital,Novena).

When I first entered the room of Dr Mona Tan with my aunt, she told me to lie down on the bed and she checked on the breast whereby the tumor is located at. She then explained to me that she had read all the reports of my CT, Bone scans, tumor diagnoses results, mammogram and ultrasound results before we came in. She explained to me in great details about the types of treatments that I can get.

She told me if I want an operation to remove the tumor now, the only way is mastectomy as the tumor is too big and she would not have enough good tissue to fill in where the tumor is at. She also said that from the mammogram she can see another shadow under my tumor meaning she suspected that there could be another tumor besides the one shown. Not only that, she also says that my lymph nodes seen from the mammogram also look like its been infected but she needs to do a biopsy to confirm. She told me that if I do not want a mastectomy then it will be a breast conservation treatment. I will have to go for 6 months chemotherapy to shrink the tumors but before that she will need to do a procedure for me whereby she will need to insert clippers where my cancer cells are at to indicate where to operate after chemotherapy has shrink them to remove them and also to fill the good tissue into them. She also shown me research (medical research done by breast doctors around the world that shown the survival rates on patients who had mastectomy and breast conservation treatment after a 5 and 10 years gap, and % of patients who did breast conservation treatment is higher.) She had done a lot of such procedures and from the patients in her clinic, I think they all looked happy including their husbands. #IamnotangelinajoliesoIdamnwellcannotdomastectomyanddobreastreconstructionandstillbehappy
I was so happy that I decided there and then she is going to be my doctor. She shown me hope. I went out to the counter staff and started to make arrangements for me to do the procedure to put in the clippers before I start my chemotherapy. Everything happen so fast that its still quite fresh in my mind like it was just yesterday. (This time, its a good way of fast not the blurry type.) I managed to get a slot in to an available timing for the very next day for my procedure.

I called my sister and texted my secondary school girl friends to share with them the good news! My sister told me “you sounded so different this time after you seen Dr Mona Tan. There is hope in your voice.”

I met up with one of my sec school girl friends after my appointment with Dr Mona Tan, and she was so happy for me when she saw how my face brightens up when I told her what Dr Mona Tan told me that she cried. I must admit I tear too.
Don’t judge at least I’m honest! If you want to leave a comment about me tearing up, please do me a BIG FAVOR, SHOVE IT WHERE I WOULDN’T SEE IT. Thanks! Lots of love!
I must tell you from the day I was diagnosed till I met up with Dr Mona Tan, there is not a day whereby I didn’t pray and ask God, ” Dear father, please show me hope. I really, really don’t want to have a mastectomy. Amen!” Till this day, I am always grateful for my Abba, Father who is faithful and who loves me. He shown me in times of uncertainties, I should just rest in him and trust in his timing.

On a side note, if you do not have medical insurance, you really should get one asap especially the medishield intergrated plan. I am really glad that I am born in Singapore. To me, critical illness if you have it, its a blessing BUT integrated medishield plan is a must to have!
(PS: I am not paid by ANY INSURANCE COMPANY, I AM JUST TELLING YOU WHAT I WENT THROUGH. DON’T SEND ME COMMENTS ABOUT WHAT INSURANCE COMPANY I AM FROM. BLAH BLAH BLAH! I am telling you now, I am not FROM ANY!)